So, I’m pushing myself to write more lately, particularly for this blog. I should really get an early night as I write this, but my head likes to give me stuff to stay awake over, the little rascal. And on the subject of sleep, one thing that fascinates me a lot are dreams. They’re usually what I rely on to sort my head out, while I sleep (or as I awaken, I suppose). Concerns or worries that might lay heavy on your mind tend to play themselves out, almost leaving you with a fresh perspective on things when you wake up. I often wonder if dreams are more important than we even know. I have this theory that each dream you have represents who you are on any given night, depending on where you are in your life that day. People who lead a clean life with no real issues (yes, people like that DO exist) tend not to suffer from nightmares, whereas those of us that have unresolved issues or worries, be they financial, relationship/friendship related, family worries etc will probably find these worries work their way into their dreaming consciousness, providing all sorts of weirdness for them to ponder. Or the type of dreams that leave you knocked for six when you wake up. I’m sure you know the type of dreams I mean. I’ll give you an example:
I had a falling out with someone last year. Someone I used to know, and drink with, years ago, and subsequently got reacquainted with through the ‘miracle’ of Facebook. A stupid comment on a post led to a misunderstanding which led to one of those ‘Yeah? Well, fuck you!’ endings to the discussion, we blocked each other, and we probably both went off thinking ‘what an asshole’, and didn’t speak again. It would pop into my head occasionally since, just long enough for me to convince myself I was the one in the right, and get on with my day. Then I had a dream one night that I’m in a bar (a pub in Galway I frequent when I’m there) and he walked in, and went straight for me, hands round my throat. It was one of those dreams you have to kick yourself out of, you know the type? Obviously it still bugged me that I’d fallen out with this guy. It further occured to me that, when you balance the power of dreams against whatever guilt we carry, that dreams could even be seen (go with me on this) as little ‘slices’ of the afterlife. There, I said it. If you were inclined towards a belief in that sort of thing, surely your own guilt might be the very thing that shapes your afterlife. An afterlife might even be a lot more of an internal thing than we realise, for all we know, and folks, we KNOW fuck all.
Anyway, it recently bugged me enough to contact him, and apologise for our heated departure from each other’s cyber-company, and he was more than happy to bury the hatchet too, everything all good again. A hellish purgatory avoided!
Whatever your ‘religious’ or spiritual views are on the nature of existence, of which, I would just like to reiterate, WE KNOW NOTHING, the best way to decide how you want to live, is ask yourself ‘how do I want to die?’. When one day my number comes up, I would hope to have resolved any hard feelings with any Humans I have met along the way enough to make sure that my very last dream is a pleasant enough one, in case that dream turns out to be a more permanent state of mind / existence.
My next blog will be another dream-related one, about a very specific series of emotions I experienced that threw me for days after.
Sleep tight 🙂