The beauty AND horror of being based in Dublin city centre is you can go for a walk at any time, and see every walk of life, from the homeless to the rich, and everyone in between, such as tourists walking around, phones in the air, like mindless pigeons, unaware of the personal space of other people. Or oncoming trams. It’s usually the homeless I notice most. As most of my readers may be aware, I’ve been homeless in Dublin city for last year and a half, after 9 months in the ‘care’ of the nuns (but that’s a script for another series).
But right now, I’m doing okay. I’ve got my own room in a hostel, and a good bunch of lads sharing our floor, and I seem to be able to make money stretch, long as I stay sober.
Usually when I’m out and about, I keep an eye out for some of the people I’ve met over the last two years, in various hostels, food banks, or rehab. Some have disappeared, and I hope they’re okay. Some are on their way out of this mortal realm, and there ain’t nothing anyone else can do about that. I’ve even recently learned of the suicide of two guys I met in recovery. Even two hours ago I spotted a man in a doorway who just had NO hope left. You can see it in his demeanour.
Some of the homeless are guys AND girls with addiction issues. They’ve got their own journey. Some are homeless due to pure circumstance, or mental health problems. And as sexist as it may seem to say, it’s usually spotting a homeless girl that breaks your heart more, an opinion a lot of the men I’ve met seem to hold. Maybe because, traditionally, women are usually the ones with their shit together, and indeed, their man’s shit together, by proxy? They’re usually the ones I’m more tempted to give any spare change to.
I HAVE had a hard time of it, the struggle hasn’t been easy, but in my case it was certainly made easier by the fact that I have friends. Friends who have helped me out when they could, even one or two who have gone above and beyond to get me out of the shit. This is something most of the homeless DON’T have, and I’m grateful for that every day.
And then I get to come back to my nice warm room every day, and have a look on the oul’ internet.
‘Ha ha ha, bless your souls…’
Shitting Christ, that’s where some of the REAL grotesqueness lies, isn’t it? Wow. It’s like “Things aren’t too bad at the moment, think I’ll go on Twitter and see who’s getting judged by the ignorant, just to bring me back down to Earth. Possibly somewhere subterranean, if that’s possible? Thanks.”
There’s nothing more heartening than, twenty minutes after seeing someone whose life is effectively over, reading about some obscure Irish wannabe comedian getting upset on behalf of a rich American actress who got groped by some rich American asshole 20 years ago. Not your fight. Maybe you could get offended on behalf of the LGBT community, as if you’re one of them, over something vaguely homophobic someone once tweeted, someone who will NEVER know you. Oh yes, I can literally FEEL the ‘progress’ whizzing past me.
Idris Elba was recently quoted as saying that if you’ve nothing to hide, then you’ve nothing to fear from the Me Too movement. Oh really, Idris? Is that how you think this works? I think by now we’re ALL aware that accusations are all it takes to ruin someone, however real or imaginary the accuser’s story might be. It’s now gradually getting to the stage where a ‘Me Too’ accusation will eventually start to become a ‘badge of honour’, because certain people are now just pissing on what was a genuine enough thing when it began. I for one can’t wait to receive MINE. But who’s gonna MeToo a homeless guy? Maybe when I have a modicum of success. I can only hope, that just at the right time, someone that wants attention and a feeling of purpose, will come out of the woodwork. Though, if I’m honest, I think the worst I’ve probably done is had a shitty relationship AT a few people.
Even in these last few months, I’ve started to become more aware of ‘the cunts’. I can see when I’m being fucked with, and WHY. Even if THEY don’t know. I’ve started to walk away from a few people and situations going on over the last ten years, and I’m actually starting to feel happier. I’m starting to see who and what is important. And all it took was to fall right down to the bottom.
I’ve even lost what was nearly a lifelong religion to me: My love for a TV show called Doctor Who (yes, he’s bringing THAT up again). It was my bible, but I’ve found this new series, under a new showrunner, is… well.. It’s designed for a completely new audience. And if the interactions I’ve had and witnessed online are anything to go by, that would be an audience of ‘woke’, ‘NPC’,’SJW’, perpetually triggered cunts. And as we all know, soon as the cunts get their hands on a religion, intelligent discussion and thought provoking progression is out the fucking window.
Nighty night, true believers.